My True Self for 2005
It sounds so vague, to resolve to be my true self in 2005. However, this statement means much more than just saying that I resolve to lose weight, pray more, floss daily, exercise, or spend more quality time with my children.
When I fail in my efforts towards health or holiness, I often use the excuse "that's just not ME". It isn't in my personality to enjoy exercise. The person I am LOVES to eat, and eat a lot. I just can't "find it in me" to have a disciplined prayer life. When I make the effort to do something to improve myself, I often fail and use the excuse "I feel so fake."
I had a priest tell me one time that the statement "I feel so fake", is one of the biggest lies Satan attacks us with on our spiritual journey. When something doesn't come naturally, we tend to assume that it means we aren't supposed to do it. Nothing could be more wrong.
When we strive towards perfection, and struggle to improve ourselves, we are actually utilizing the gifts and graces God has given us to become closer to our true selves. We are not supposed to remain our base selves that come so easily. We have tendencies and vices that come naturally, but forget that God always intended for us to be supernatural beings. "...in the image of God he created them..." Genesis 1:27.
That "fake" feeling we experience is more than mere discomfort at doing something new. It is Satan's manipulation in us so that we will cease in our journey toward Heaven. Recognizing that is the first step in overcoming it.
So, my resolution is that when I don't feel like getting up and exercising in the morning, I will remeber that my true self is someone who desires to be healthy and take care of my body. When I can't seem to enter into any prayertime, I will try and re-focus and go to God as I truly am, even if I can only muster up a heartfelt "God, I don't feel like praying. Please draw me closer to you." When I think about how I would rather do adult things and take care of household things rather than play Candyland with my kids, I will remember that my true self is a mother who wants her children to feel valued and important.
And when I feel too lazy to floss before bedtime, I will remember that my true self has beautiful, clean, white teeth!
When I fail in my efforts towards health or holiness, I often use the excuse "that's just not ME". It isn't in my personality to enjoy exercise. The person I am LOVES to eat, and eat a lot. I just can't "find it in me" to have a disciplined prayer life. When I make the effort to do something to improve myself, I often fail and use the excuse "I feel so fake."
I had a priest tell me one time that the statement "I feel so fake", is one of the biggest lies Satan attacks us with on our spiritual journey. When something doesn't come naturally, we tend to assume that it means we aren't supposed to do it. Nothing could be more wrong.
When we strive towards perfection, and struggle to improve ourselves, we are actually utilizing the gifts and graces God has given us to become closer to our true selves. We are not supposed to remain our base selves that come so easily. We have tendencies and vices that come naturally, but forget that God always intended for us to be supernatural beings. "...in the image of God he created them..." Genesis 1:27.
That "fake" feeling we experience is more than mere discomfort at doing something new. It is Satan's manipulation in us so that we will cease in our journey toward Heaven. Recognizing that is the first step in overcoming it.
So, my resolution is that when I don't feel like getting up and exercising in the morning, I will remeber that my true self is someone who desires to be healthy and take care of my body. When I can't seem to enter into any prayertime, I will try and re-focus and go to God as I truly am, even if I can only muster up a heartfelt "God, I don't feel like praying. Please draw me closer to you." When I think about how I would rather do adult things and take care of household things rather than play Candyland with my kids, I will remember that my true self is a mother who wants her children to feel valued and important.
And when I feel too lazy to floss before bedtime, I will remember that my true self has beautiful, clean, white teeth!
posted by Philothea Rose at
8:00 PM
6 Comments:
What a wise priest! I have never thought of the excuses as not being my "real self" or feeling fake but I like the idea of knowing that my real self knows to try to be healthy or pray more. Good reflections to take into the new year. Thanks! :-)
I just can't floss...I argue with my dental hygenist all of the time.
Well, once again, you hit the nail on the head. At some point we just have to get started on our journey for perfection, or Theosis, as it is called in the Eastern Catholic tradition. God's graces are there, just waiting for us to grab on, hold tight, and experience all the unexpected joy! Happy New Year.
WOW! If Jesus ever blogged, I bet this would be the first post. That's it! The blog title could be WWJB!
You rock. I love what your priest told you about "feeling fake" and how that is satan's way of attacking us. I am going to remember that. You inspire me to be my true self, too!!! Even if it just doesn't feel like "me". Supernatural, here we come!
I'm with you on this, sister - I don't enjoy exercise, I do enjoy eating (but not overeating, so at least that's a start...) and have so much difficulty with regular devotions. I haven't considered that my negative self-talk could be lies from Satan, but you've certainly got me thinking about it now.
A visiting priest told us that the moment we get up in the morning and look in the mirror is one of the most sacramental moments in our day. It's when we can choose to live out a day pleasing to God, or to ourselves. We often can't see ourselves clearly that early in the morning (the eyes are still focusing!) and we need to embrace that fragility, that moment. That is a sacramental moment. If we can only carry that moment all day with us, I think we'd all be so much better off.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home