From now on, count me out!

You know, maybe I am just missing something, but I have decided that I just can't read or participate in liturgy discussions anymore. It totally takes away from the Mass for me.

Everything from the controversy over which bishops say which postures are appropriate for what parts of the Mass to whether or not one should wear jeans to Mass or not. I'm just tired of it.

I'm tired of going to Mass and looking around, taking a mental tally of who wears jeans, t-shirts, or flip flops to Mass because of some internet debate I read the previous day.

Tired of peeking up while bowing during the Nicene Creed to see who is doing it as well.

Tired of watch other people receive Communion and mentally noting who is bowing, crossing themselves, genuflecting, or crossing their eyes. Meanwhile, I'm totally forgetting that I myself have just received the greatest gift of the entire universe and of all time 2 minutes ago.

I'm tired of walking up to Communion and instead of thinking about the BODY OF CHRIST I am thinking "Hand or tongue, hand or tongue? OK hand, no tongue..." and then accidentally doing both to the confusion of the priest who almost drops it on the ground

Tired of wondering whether or not to hold hands this week during the Our Father or not, and then holding one neighbor's hand and not the other's who then thinks I am snubbing him.

Its frustrating for me that the more I learn about the Mass, the less I seem to be able to concentrate it.

You know, I don't know what is right or wrong anymore, what are matters of the upmost importance or what could easily be changed tomorrow by a synod, encyclical, or letter from the bishop.

All I know, is that I don't want to know anymore.

Maybe that makes me apathetic, or a bad Catholic, or whatever. But when I see my friends, family, or strangers at Church, I don't want to chalk up another judgment on the board based on how many inches above their knees their skirts are or how casual/uncasual/too casual/appropriately casual they are.

I just want to be glad they are there.

And I don't want to be getting mad at my friends, Church acquaintances, or internet companions anymore because I think they are right/wrong, too judgmental/too lenient, lax/hypocritical. Just like we have filters for violence, obscenity, and sexual content, could I have a filter for liturgical debates that do nothing to draw me closer to God, my faith, or the Church?

I know following the GIRM and Rubrics are important. And of course I don't want to go to an invalid Mass. But all these debates I come across don't seem to do anything other than give one person an avenue for feeling superior to or holier than the neighbor they disagree with. If these discussions actually seemed to edify me and the other participants in some way, then I would indulge. But all I end up coming away with is confusion, bitterness, anger, resentment, and sometimes pride.

Not once have I participated in any of these discussions and have come away with a greater love for the Mass.

I mean, if we truly think about it, shouldn't we all be receiving Communion sitting on the ground in the attic of a neighbor's house if we REALLY want to get technical as to how it is supposed to be done? Because as far as I know, that is how Jesus and the Apostles did it.

So until we go back to that, I am just doing what my bishop tells me and enjoying, celebrating, WORSHIPPING JESUS in the Mass from now on.