Reflecting on Wholehearted Motherhood

I read this inspiring post on Wholehearted Motherhood, and it was exactly what I needed. It was good to go through the post point-by-point and reevaluate how much of my heart I put into my vocation as a mother.

The wholehearted mother has learned to lay down her wants and desires when they conflict with her responsibilities... She knows that it is not enough to be a stay-at-home mom, to homeschool her children, to run a ship-shape home, or to plan the perfect rotating menus, if her heart is only partially for the home. She does not simply perform her duties and feel as if she has done all that is required, but she has a steadfast faithfulness and heartfelt dedication to motherhood...

I for one have a difficult time putting aside my desires for my responsibilities. How many times do I rush through the kids bedtime prayers or skip reading-time altogether because I may miss the first 10 minutes of Gilmore Girls? How many times do I get so caught up in keeping the perfect house and getting everything done that I neglect to spend time being a mother to my children? How much time do I spen on the computer and miss out on my duties as a mother? The answer: plenty.

The words "steadfast faithfulness" and "heartfelt dedication" are words I want to deeply apply to my life as a mother.

She is unswerving in her dedication to raise her children to serve the Lord. Her children observe her passion for this holy mission and see it for the splendid task that it is.

This is one of those statements that I know in my head, but need to hear over and over to remind my heart. Mothers and wives show their love for God by raising their children and loving their husbands. So how well, how much, how deeply am I showing my love for God in my vocation? Sometimes I feel like I merely survive the day, and to a certain degree, that is normal. But I must face it, there are times when I feel exhausted not because the day has been legitimately difficult, but because I have spent so much time wallowing over what desires I must sacrifice. Sometimes I make the days more difficult by my own rebellion... "For once, I'd like to do what I want, when I want!" is what I say, not realizing that those rebellions actually make the day more difficult to bear. If I recited the words "steadfast faithfulness" and "heartfelt dedication" to myself rather than the words, "I want, I want, I want!", maybe I would have less difficult days and more satisfying days.

Enthusiastic: The wholehearted mother is excited about her vocation. She says, “How blessed I am to be a mother! What a wonderful calling this is! I am so thankful for my home and for my family.” Her children know that she esteems motherhood and that she is joyful and eager to tackle its challenges. She makes work into a game and inspires her children to learn. Her daughters are convinced that motherhood is a glorious endeavor and worthy of a passionate and fervent devotion.

This is also an area I need to work on, and it is just a matter of adjusting my attitude continually, until it is ingrained in me and becomes a part of my daily habits. Of course I love my vocation as a wife and mother, and I love being an at-home mother. But I admit that I forget to be excited, joyful about it. Many may question my love for my life if I fail to show enthusiasm for it. It would break my heart if it ever came to be that my own daughters questioned my love for this life due to a lack of enthusiasm on my part. It is a matter of making sure my actions and expressions match the affections of my heart.

A wholehearted mother must first pursue God with a whole heart. “Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart,” Psalm 119:2. As she communes with the Lord and spends time in His presence, she will receive His vision for her family and be renewed in her purpose as a mother. This is the antidote for weariness, discouragement, and a sense of failure. Time spent with God will give her an eternal perspective and a fresh sense of the significance of her role as a mother. “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord,” Psalm 27:14.

One again, a theme in my recent days...God calling me to prayer...to time with Him before I begin any part of my day... to time with Him when I have a quiet moment to spare... to time with Him in the midst of my daily activities. Our Lord is pretty much shouting this message to me, repeatedly. How blessed I am to have a God who gives me the answers I need so clearly. Why do I not heed those answers? Stubbornness, laziness, forgetfulness, ingratitude, apathy...the list could go on. It is clearly time for me to overcome those obstacles and embrace the call God is so loudly, so constantly giving me.

Now, to give myself some credit (and indulge in a little bit of hope), I do think there are some areas I am doing a pretty good job in. Of course, I will always strive to do better....

...Determined: The wholehearted mother lets nothing sway her vision. Sure, she has days when she is not at her best. She may be tired in mind or body, but, she either perseveres through those times or gets back on track when they have passed. The wholehearted mother has a dream for her children, an unqualified resolve to raise citizens of the Kingdom who wholeheartedly love their God. She is determined to make the sacrifices necessary now, to avoid the pain of regret later...

...Free from all reserve or hesitation: The wholehearted mother doesn’t let the criticism of family or friends dissuade her. When she picks up a magazine and reads, “Motherhood is Overrated,” “Me, Me, Me,” “How to Have It All,” “Too Much of a Good Thing – the Dangers of a Large Family,” “Pamper Yourself Today,” “Don’t Lose Your Job Skills,” or “Buried in Diapers,” she smiles, lays it down, and reads, “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward,” Psalm 127:3...

...A wholehearted mother will have a heart for her husband. “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,” Titus 2:4...

What a perfect time for reflection on wholehearted motherhood, this post-partum time with a new baby. What a perfect season to ponder the improvements that need to be made in my life, this season of Advent. I thank God for blessing me with clear, constant messages that I cannot ignore. I thank God for anything that renews and refreshes me, especally in the areas of my vocation that are lacking. And, to repeat the prayer at the end of the referred post:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting,” Psalm 139:23 & 24.