Let Parents Be Parents

Whenever we think of children having fun, being free, being childlike, we think of them doing things like jumping on the beds, swinging from the trees, singing silly songs in loud, nasally voices, tying each other together the way pirates do with a jump rope, building indoor forts with every blanket and pillow in the house. And yes, these are the classic things kids do to have fun.

And then, in the background we always see the wet blanket, aka Mom, with hands on her hips and scowl on her face. "I said, no jumping on the bed! One of you could fall off and hurt yourself." "SIGH! I just folded all that laundry, and you've taken it all and messed it up!" "If your going to sing, please do it quietly." "Jump ropes are for jumping with, not tying each other up! One of you could get rope burn."

We always feel sorry for the kids, saying, "Let kids be kids". But I am taking a new approach. Why don't we "Let parents be parents?"

I mean, we had our fun as little ones making tents our of our Barbie/GI Joe sheets. We know what its like. But let's face it, we couldn't fit into one of those homemade forts now even if we wanted to. And we know all too well what sorts of nasty crumbs are residing in the needs-to-be-vacuumed floor and don't really want to be playing house down there anyway.

We've seen Dateline and 20/20 too many times to know that kids do fall off their beds and crack their skulls open, or at the very least, split their lips or heads open leading to a trip to the emergency room and the shelling out of a $50 copayment that you really don't have right now. Does this objection dampen the monkey-mood of the house? Sure, but is it unreasonable or unrealistic? Absolutely not.

And yes, I remember how fun it was to sing, "When your riding in a Chevy and your pants are kind of heavy, DIAHRREA!" But when you are trying to pick out the best tomatoes in the crowded grocery store with a cart full of rambunctious kids surrounded by others adults also handling food items, do you really want your kids to be loudly singing, "Scooby Dooby Doo, took a poo, and Shaggy thought it was chocolate! Then he took a bite, it wasn't right, and now he's in the hospital!" Inside, do you laugh? Of course. Heck, you might even be putting your hand over your mouth to hide the involuntary chuckle trying to come out. But does that make it wrong when you say, "Kids, please do not sing that song in public! In fact, don't sing it in my presence at all!"

I'm all for kids being kids. I know they need to be carefree and rowdy and loud, but could I please get some props here? I have a house to run and sanity to maintain, which was already compromised when I pushed those bundles of joy out in the first place.

Besides, what fun is it to jump on the beds when your mom says, "Go ahead, we need a new mattress any way." What fun is it to sing gross songs if your dad bends over and says, "You think that was gross, watch this..."

And even into the teenage years, what fun is it to sneak out every once in a while if you have no curfew? What fun is it to sneak a kiss behind the gym at the Friday night game if your mom calls out "Remember, safe sex!" when you leave the house?

Being a kid just wouldn't be any fun if it weren't for parents laying down the law. There would be no rules to break, no house to mess up, no one for whom those actions would drive insane. And let's face it, the kids have to admit how much fun it is to jump up and dash to the nearest hiding spot when you hear the shrieking, piercing yell speed through the house saying, "Who spilled this paint all over my newly-mopped kitchen floor!"

So yeah, give your kids a break. Let them be kids. But to all those movie-makers, authors, storytellers, psychologists, and idealists who give us moms and dads a hard time I say, "Let the parents be parents!"