Discouraging Advent Year II

I was going to write some thoughts about how I have screwed up this Advent and have made little spiritual effort and have become overwhelmed or consumed by worldly, unimportant things, but then I realized that I think I made a post like it a year ago.

I went back and read it, and while some things are different, the general sentiment is the same. Here I am with my large ideas about how holy, prepared, and peaceful I will be during this time, only to get completely offtrack by this-or-that.

I need to focus. Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming.

There are times I lie in bed and the thoughts of all the bad things that could possibly happen in my life to me or my family come flooding in, and I think, "Oh, I've got to make sure to get my life and my spirit in order in case something like this happens." Why can't I feel that kind of urgency during Advent, when God wants me to feel these things?

Now I have to get out of my rut and not fall to the temptation of perfectionism by giving up my efforts this year because I've already screwed it up 'til this point, might as well not try until next year when I can get it right from the beginning. That perfectionistic idea is rooted in pride and is Satan's way of getting me even more off track.

I need to to focus. Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming.